I am not a Bear
by asianchibi99
Summary: Kaito says some disturbing things and Meiko accidentally walks in on him. How does both react? Good and/or bad, depends on your opinion. The ending is very interesting, and I think it's the best end I've ever done. T for word


**Hey~ Ok so this is a KAIMEI because I love them and they need more stories together =3= Also, this is my entry for Ventiwing's Writing contest. I don't usually do contests, but I felt I had to something for Valentines day. Plus, if I do another special, I'll never finish ^^" (remember my Halloween one? MAJOR writers block)**

**Enjoy~**

**Disclaimer- NO! Nor do I own any ice cream brand. **

"The burning passion in my heart that lights at your smile, the gentle stars in my vision when I see your beautiful crimson eyes, the beating in my heart that resembles my heart when you call my name. Oh, how I love you, Mei-chan…"

"… Wh-wh-what?"

"M-MEIKO!"

The blue haired man shrieked and turned around from where he was talking to a teddy bear with a brown wig and red clothes. In the doorway stood the real woman, she was watching him with a stiff body and wide eyes. She turned around slowly and silently, walking away from the blue furnished room.

_~TIME SKIP~_

"Ne~ What do you think happened to Kaito-nii? Nii-chan?"

"I don't know, Nee-chan, he looks pretty shaken."

"What about you, Miku-chan? What happened?"

"Oh look, his soul is coming out."

Sure enough, a tiny white ghost floated out of his mouth. Kaito was still in his room, looking up at the ceiling with a stoned, pale face. He was twitching from time to time, but was otherwise dead to the world.

"Len, Rin. Let's go, he's giving me the willies."

"Ok Miku-chan," Rin shuffled after the older Vocaloid, her brother coming behind them, but not before poking Kaito's open eye. Len shrieked when it twitched irritably and raced after the other two females.

Once again, the male was left in his room, he hadn't moved from the incident. Not once. Unless the twitching was slowly inching him to death. His eye lid was now fidgeting because of Len, but he was still… That.

"Kaito. Get up, you're scaring the younger ones." Luka scolded coming into the room. "Up!"

He didn't move, didn't even blink. The poor guy was still in shock and disbelief.

"Helloo? Get up right now Kaito, or I will tell the Kagamines that you have died and that they have inherited your Golden 'Aisu-cream sweeet' members card.

"N-no…"

Luka smirked in victory, she had brought him back to life.

"N-not the members card…" He turned, his bones cracking from the lack of use in the past few hours. "I'm ok…"

"What happened anyways? Did you do something to Meiko? She's shut up in her room." Luka looked at him accusingly for scaring her best friend.

"A-aa-ahh, w-w-well…." the blunette tried to avoid the question, but the scrutinizing glare from the tuna-loving lady was very scary. "Y-you see…" His words came out in a tumble after that, he explained what happened with a red face and clenched fists.

Being the superhumanly smart person she is, it only took Luka a minute to decipher his words. She burst out laughing, she tried to cover her mouth to hide it, but it came out anyways. Her sides heaved and her eyes bulged.

"D-did you really!" She choked, he nodded sheepishly and she laughed harder, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. "Hahaaa, good luck Kaito! Meiko is not coming out of her room anytime soon~"

With that, she left the room with a satisfied gait. Kaito groaned, whining to himself, he slid off his chair and curled on his carpeting, whimpering.

On the nether side, a red clothe woman lay on her bed with a bright pink face. Her hands covered her eyes as she lay on her back.

"That guy, I really, really hate him." She growled to herself, "I'll murder him, I'll murder him."

She blamed him for making her heart beat, she was going to kill him for sure when she's gets out of bed. Yet, she couldn't make herself do it, it was strange that for years she was able to hit him and strangle him so easily without any suggestion of hesitance, and now she didn't even want to smack him.

"Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate…"

"Love, love, love, love, love…"

Her face burned harder and she shut her eyes shut, she shivered in half fear and half shock. The memory was still fresh in her mind and all the alcohol in the world couldn't wash it away. From her position when she barged in his room, it would've looked like a ritual. Him kneeling before a brown bear with long hair and a red dress, he was doing a long, very clearly pronounced speech, and with his hands in front of him, it was not a sight Meiko was used to. Her chest beat like a kettledrum, ringing in her ears. She hated him for doing this to her.

"When did I let that idiot tangle me like this?"

Luka was outside of Meiko's door, her giggles were muted and she was trying to calm herself down before she tried to confront the poor traumatized lady. She had sent Miku, Rin and Len to go to the ice cream parlor and fetch Kaito a box of ice cream. If anything can help that guy now, it's frozen sugar.

"M-Meiko?" Luka stifled a giggled, but then cleared her throat and knocked on the door. "Meiko? Are you there?"

"…" There was no reply, not even a sound. Luka sighed, and dug into the pocket of her shirt.

"Meiko, if you're not opening the door, I'll pick the lock." The tuna-lover warned. She patiently counted five minutes, (there's no hurry, it's still an early day) before taking out a bobby pin. She skillfully manipulated the tip with her fingers and gently wiggled it into the keyhole of the door. After a bit of fails and re-shaping, the door clicked open and Luka opened the door easily.

Once inside, she was greeted with quite a sight. The normally relaxed, lucid, and stoic (When she's sober) woman had a huge blanket over her head, a gentle lump in the pile suggested that she was curled in a tight ball. Luka bit on her lip to keep from laughing and quietly crept to the bed side. Bracing herself, she slowly lifted up the edge of the blanket, only just catching a glimpse of misty red eyes before a hand lashed out. Luckily, her reaction was as quick as a birds, she ducked down low before the hand could reach her.

"Go away."

"No need to be so defensive." Luka chided, getting up and dusting off her skirt. "I already know what happened."

"Then go away."

"Meiko, you'll die under there."

"So be it. Go away."

"Out. Now." Slightly frustrated, Luka yanked the blanket off of Meiko, making the latter shriek in surprise. She jumped for the blanket, but Luka was already far off. Now that she saw the bright, red face up close, an idea popped into her head.

"What is this? The Great and Proud Meiko all flustered for the ice-cream man?" She teased, making the said girl growl and stop fighting.

"I am not flustered! Especially not for that idiot!" She fumed, making Luka smirk.

"Prove it, I can't tell the difference from your eyes to our face." The calmer female watched in amusement as Meiko breathe in and out slowly and steadily. Her face gently dulling back to it's original color. It's funny how fast she can calm herself, but that's Meiko for you.

"Better, I feel better." She sighed, rubbing her cheek gently.

"Hey, I have a question." Let's see how fast her recovery will last. "If you were blushing, do you truly wish Kaito said that to you?"

Answer: Meiko only lasted five seconds.

"N-no! Never! That is so disgusting, gross, yuck." Meiko made a face, but her cheeks became rosy. Again. "Did you _hear _him? It was disgusting and mushy and-and-" her face grew soft as if remembering something. Luka ribs cracked.

"You loved it."

"Oh shut up." Meiko murmured dreamily, but then shook herself at Luka's laughing.

"Come here, I'll help you with this problem of yours…"

"Kaiittoo-nii!~" The front door opened, revealing three victorious teens. With Miku opening the door, Rin and Len each carried a tub of ice cream. "We've brought you a present!"

Rin kicked the door closed, and the other two made their ascent up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, they reunited again and marched over to the bright blue door at the end of the hall. Miku opened the door, then jumped back, practically tackling Rin, and squealed as she realized how close Kaito's head was to the door. He was still in a fetal position, just as shocked as they left him.

Miku helped Rin up and picked up the fallen ice cream as Len poked the grown man with his toe, warily watching for any reaction.

"Hey, Kaito-nii, we brought two big tubs of ice cream." He announced, but then his voice got impossibly high-pitched and he screeched in fear as a blue-nailed hand clenched his ankle. "EEEEEEEEEKKKK! LET GO!"

The ice cream was drooped mercilessly on the hand, and Len's ankle was released. He bolted behind his sister, watching the man from over her shoulder.

"What flavor..?" Mumbled Kaito, removing his hand from under the ice cream as if he couldn't feel it.

"Chocolate and Vanilla. We weren't sure which you'd prefer so we bought both." Rin replied calmly, setting down the other box, her movements were more relaxed despite the fact that Miku and Len were both shivering behind her.

"He's still giving me the willies…"

"C-can we go, Nee-chan?" Len begged, but Rin held up a finger, signaling him to wait. After three minutes, Kaito was up in a sitting position, he was looking at the ice cream in a daze and opened the box. Or at least tried to. His fingernails scraped pathetically at the tape, slow scratching sounds filled the quiet room. Rin face palmed and wretched open the tub with one fluid motion.

"Hm. Chocolate. I want Vanilla." He moved over to the other tub, scratching at the tape once again, failing epically to open it. Rin's left eye twitched, but she opened that box too.

"… I don't want ice cream right now."

She snapped.

"Are you serious! I risked getting my hands frostbite from carrying that fricken tub from the parlor to the shop to up to _your _sorry ass and this is your response!" She lunged at him, claws and fangs bared, her eyes glowed a vicious icy color.

"Ack! Nee-chan!" Len managed to grab his sister before she tore the man to shreds. "Sorry Kaito-nii!" He bowed, and left with his yowling sister in tow. Miku left awkwardly, but not before noticing that Kaito didn't flinch. Not even when Rin's claws were inches from his face. Still, she left to her own room where she would continue to chew on an onion. Either that or go on the computer. Yeah… she wondered if anyone was on at this time of day.

Kaito was hugging his knees in his room, still looking off to space. Two ice cream boxes lay open, he looked at them blankly and tried to close them. He grabbed a lid, and pushed down on the box.

_Puff_

It let out a bit of air as it snapped into place. He blinked tiredly and closed the other box. His dead, tired mind was amused with the puff of air. He opened the box, and it made a gentle popping noise.

_Pop_

_Puff_

_Pop_

_Puff_

_Pop_

_Puff_

_Pop_

_Puff _

Over and over again, he opened and closed the lids childishly but with a stoned and blank shape.

Outside the door, Meiko and Luka were watching, both were more horrified than the other as he kept on doing the same thing repeatedly.

"I-is he broken?"

It was an old joke in the house that if anyone got out of character for too long, they were 'broken' and had to be fixed by Master. But now, Meiko was asking a dead serious question. She thought that Kaito's brain was fried or something had-

_Pop_

Precisely, if something had popped.

Luka licked her lips, suddenly unsure if she stop Meiko or…no. If anything, this would be able to cure Kaito, hopefully. After the denial of ice cream, she got unsure.

_Puff_

No. It had to work. She was not going to have to take care of a six-foot child. If this didn't work, she would throw him off the cliff of no return.

"Kaito." Meiko stepped forwards, and Luka smiled proudly. After a bit of pep talking and encouragement, there was no way Meiko would ever blush again. It's not that Luka didn't enjoy teasing a vulnerable Meiko (because she really did) it's just that a red-faced, squirmy Meiko was so… weird.

"You go girl." Luka whispered, giving her newest success a thumbs up. She didn't get a response, but Kaito's reaction was enough. A loud, clear, glass-shattering scream shot through the house. Shaking the foundation, there was multiple shouts of alarm from the Kagamine and Hatsune rooms.

Luka peeked inside the room to find Meiko on the ground clutching her ears, Kaito had scurried to the far corner of his room, his shoulders stiff and his face the color of tomatoes.

"A-argh, Bakaito." Meiko snarled, but then cleared her throat almost instantly and straightened her back. She walked towards the whimpering, wailing man slowly. From Luka's view, she could see only a straight back and a high chin, but she was sure that there was also a sincere yet firm crimson gaze to go along. "K-Kaito…" Never mind, her voice was becoming hesitant. Oh wait, she took a deep breath. "Th-the b-burning passion in my h-heart (cough) that lights at your smile, the gentle s-s-s-stars th-in my vision when I see your beautiful blu- sa-sapphire eyes, the b-b-beating in my heart that re-sembles a d-d-drum when you call my name. Oh, how I lo-lo-lo-lo-l-lo-l-lovvvvv- GODDAMN IT!" Meiko slapped a very, very, VERY surprised Kaito.

Luka face palmed, she should've seen that coming.

Hoisting him up by his muffler, Meiko brought her forehead to his.

"You. Complete. _IDIOT!" _She raged, "Next time you have something to say, say it to _me_! NOT A HALF-ASSED STUFFED BEAR!"

"Tsundere, tsundere, tsundere, tsundere." Luka mumbled over and over to herself.

"How badly do you want me to beat you! HUH!" Meiko scolded, not loosening her grip in the slightest. He choked.

"Do-does that mean…" He couldn't even finish as Meiko pecked his lips. She proceeded to throw him on the ground and storm off to her room.

"Next time you start talking, GROW SOME BALLS!"

"…tsundere, tsundere, tsundere, tsundere, tsundere." Luka kept muttering, but even she couldn't hold back the giggling she had on her lips when she noticed the blunt blush on Kaito's cheeks and the way he was touching his lips.

No doubt who the man of the relationship was going to be.

**Honestly, I wrote this a couple months ago, lost it, found Ventiwing's contest, remembered it and spent a couple days just looking for it 0_0 If there's any mistake, yeah, I didn't really edit it. I just breezed through and fixed a few major ones. **

**I SUPPORT KAIMEI TO THE END OF THE FRICKEN WORLD!**

**Mush Luvve**

**~asianchibi**


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